{"id":6694,"date":"2026-02-11T13:11:37","date_gmt":"2026-02-11T13:11:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eakinostomy.com\/GB\/?p=6694"},"modified":"2026-02-17T15:31:55","modified_gmt":"2026-02-17T15:31:55","slug":"understanding-the-emotional-side-of-living-with-a-stoma-by-ayesha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eakinostomy.com\/GB\/blog\/understanding-the-emotional-side-of-living-with-a-stoma-by-ayesha\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding the emotional side of living with a stoma | by Ayesha"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Understanding the emotional side of living with a stoma | by Ayesha<\/h1>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n
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No one and nothing can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster you endure post-stoma surgery, especially if your surgery is an emergency. Living with a stoma is a completely life-changing experience and really puts everything into perspective. It\u2019s totally acceptable to have your good and bad days and it\u2019s super important to allow yourself to feel how you want to feel.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

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Grieving your old body<\/mark><\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

This is probably what I found most difficult. In the beginning I didn\u2019t want to practice acceptance, self-love or gratitude. I felt so lost in the beginning, I didn\u2019t recognise myself or know how to be myself with my stoma bag. I felt like I had no control over the choices that were made for me. My emergency surgery was something I didn\u2019t want and something I didn\u2019t take lightly to. I really grieved my old body and personality, I kept asking myself if I didn\u2019t love my body how could I expect anyone else too.
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Frustration<\/mark><\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I was extremely frustrated after my stoma surgery. I constantly asked myself \u2018why me?\u2019 and wondered what I did to deserve this and why I couldn\u2019t have continued with treatments, why did they have to fail? I was in a very negative headspace and didn\u2019t know how I would shake it. In the early days after surgery, I really struggled with feeling different. Bag changes were really hard, some days I would have spent an hour trying to gear myself up to change my bag. I also felt different and almost felt ashamed of my body. I was too embarrassed to tell my friends and family in case they thought less of me or didn\u2019t want to be around me.
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Relationships<\/mark><\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I definitely struggled with my body image more than my partner. With having so many negative thoughts towards my body and myself, I just expected him to as well. My partner spoke real sense to me when I needed it most. He reminded me that my stoma saved my life which in his eyes was a good thing. He painted a picture that I couldn\u2019t and he played a huge part in my journey of acceptance, I\u2019ll be forever grateful for the sense he spoke and patience he had.
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Talk about it<\/mark><\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I tried to turn my negative into a positive. I thought to myself you either get bitter or you get better, I then decided to share my story online. In my own head, I thought If I\u2019m the one who chooses to share my story and put it out there, I\u2019m in control of that situation and I don\u2019t have to worry about anyone judging me or talking about it. To this day sharing my story has been the best thing I\u2019ve done. It opened many doors and opportunities for me and allowed me to connect with so many other amazing people who also have stoma bags. It\u2019s such a relief to be able to speak to people who truly get it and understand all of your feelings. The power of social media will always be something I\u2019m appreciative of. Whether it\u2019s a small blip or something more serious, you can always get advice and guidance from others in the community. It\u2019s also lovely and refreshing to know we\u2019re all there for each other, trying to break the stigma day by day.<\/strong>
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Exercise<\/mark><\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

As much as my physical health, exercise really helped my mental health. I told myself that I was lucky to be able to exercise post-surgery and I dived right into that. In the early days, my energy was quite low so getting out for a walk and some fresh air helped my mood massively. I spent time doing pelvic floor exercises, and trying to build my core up again as I felt like I was starting from scratch. Since my surgery just over 3 years ago I have introduced Pilates, running and CrossFit into my exercise routine. All of which I really enjoy and manage fine with my stoma bag!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Time is honestly a healer and it\u2019s so important to give yourself that time to get your confidence back. Allow yourself to feel how you want to feel and take each day as it comes. I still shock myself when I look back at where I started to where I am now. I\u2019ve come such a long way, where a bag change used to take me an hour to now less than five minutes. I\u2019ve gone from surviving to thriving<\/strong> and even though I still have \u2018off\u2019 days, I take pride in celebrating my small wins and remind myself that my stoma is a small part of me now that I should be proud <\/strong>of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Ayesha<\/strong>
@ayeshaduffy<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n

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