A note to myself | by Kevin
Dear me, standing on the edge of the unknown,
I know you’re scared. You’re overwhelmed, uncertain, and wondering what life will look like on the other side of this surgery. But there’s so much I wish you knew, so many truths I now carry that would’ve brought you understanding in those sleepless nights.
The fear is real – but so is your strength
You’ve faced hard things before, but this feels different more permanent, more personal. You’re worried about your identity, your relationships, even the clothes you’ll wear. But let me say this loud and clear: you will adapt. That strength you’re not sure you have. It’s there. And it will show when you need it most. Not overnight, but gradually and powerfully.
The stoma does not define you
I know you’re worried about what people will think. You’re wondering if this pouch will become the first thing others notice about you. But here’s the truth: it won’t. The people who matter won’t see you as ‘the person with a stoma’. They’ll see you, the same compassionate, funny, resilient soul you’ve always been, and resilience will be one of your huge key strengths. One thing you will achieve is what you have always wanted to do is run and complete the London marathon.
You’ll learn to see the stoma not as a flaw, but as a symbol of survival. Of choosing life and quality over quiet suffering. You’ll wear it with more pride than you can possibly imagine right now.
Life after surgery is still life
There will be joy again. Laughter. Adventures, moments that have nothing to do with hospitals or medication. You’ll travel. You’ll laugh until your sides ache. You’ll rebuild your routines, your self-image, your confidence piece by piece.
Yes, there will be tough days physically and emotionally, but they won’t last forever. And each one will teach you something about perseverance, grace, and how deeply human you are.
Did you ever think…?
Did you ever think you would become a support for others going through the same thing? Did you imagine you’d sit across from children facing similar surgeries, able to look them in the eye and say, “You’re going to be okay,” and truly mean it?
Did you know you’d take part in a podcast, sharing your story, your journey, your truth and realise that your words matter? That your experience has power?
And did you ever think honestly that you’d take your top off in front of others and show your stoma, not with shame, but with pride? I know what you’re thinking, because I thought the same thing: never in a million years. But you did. And you should feel damn proud of it.
Growth you never expected
This journey will stretch you in ways you never asked for, but it will also grow you in ways you never dreamed. You’ll learn to advocate for yourself, to speak your truth more boldly, and to connect with others walking this path with compassion and strength. You’ll find community in unexpected places, and you’ll become a light for someone else facing the very same fear you feel right now.
You’ve got this
So breathe. Cry when you need to. Ask for help. But don’t forget, you’re not just going to survive this you’re going to thrive. You’ll emerge from this stronger, wiser, and more grounded than ever. You’ve come so far and I’m so proud of you.
With all the love and courage, you’ll soon discover,
Me, Kev, a little wiser and a lot stronger.
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