Navigating the emotional journey of ostomy reversal | by Anna
Choosing to get a stoma reversal is an easy yes for same, for others, it can be a dilemma. For me at the time, it felt like the easiest decision of my life.
Before my reversal
Looking back now, I realise I was in a pretty dark place before my reversal. The stoma was all I had ever known, and I was desperate for a way out. I wanted to ‘be normal’, even though everyone around me gently warned it might not be the right move.
I was a teenager back then – already navigating the emotional rollercoaster of growing up, dealing with body image and all the changes that come with becoming a young woman. Having a stoma on top of that felt unbearable. When I found out a reversal would be possible, I was elated, it felt like someone had handed me a one way ticket to the life I thought I was missing out on.
I remember placing a huge online order before my surgery – clothes that would finally show off my stomach. For the first time, I envisioned a life where I could wear a bikini, not worry about my body in the same way, and just feel free.
Post-reversal
Even during my hospital stay, nothing bothered me. I was clouded by the joy of this ‘new’ life that lay ahead. My first holiday after the reversal was unforgettable – I wore a bikini and felt a level of confidence I’d never experienced before. It was everything I had hoped for.
But as time went on, things began to change. Pain and constant diarrhoea crept in and slowly took over my daily life. I stopped doing the things I loved. My confidence faded. Even a simple day out or a visit to see family became overwhelming.
My mental health plummeted. I felt anxious, low, and completely trapped.
Coming full circle
Eventually, I reached a breaking point. Nothing else was working and I had to face the truth that the reversal hadn’t given me the life I hoped for and the only way out of the pain was to go back – to have the stoma recreated again.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t upset. After everything I’d coped with, seeing the stoma again felt like coming home after years of being lost. I felt relief and I felt like me again.
With the stoma back, I regained my confidence and could finally enjoy life without constant discomfort or fear. About six months in, I had a little wobble – not about the stoma itself, but more about my overall medical history and trying to make sense of how unfair life had felt at times.
Advice for anyone considering a reversal
If you’re thinking about having a reversal, here’s what I’ve learned:
- Write a list of pros and cons – only you will know what matters most and what outweighs what. No one else can make that decision for you.
- Don’t rush – if you’re unsure, give yourself time. There’s no deadline on making this choice.
- Be kind to yourself – it can be heartbreaking if the reversal doesn’t go as planned. Sometimes it works out perfectly. Sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it’s ok. Take your time to heal, physically and emotionally.
- Talk to people who’ve been through it – everyone’s story is different but hearing real experiences, good and bad, can give you perspective. Join online support groups or chat to advocates.
- Trust yourself – at the end of the day, you are the one living this life. You are the expert on your body. Listen to your gut (quite literally!)
This journey has taught me that ‘normal’ is whatever makes you feel most like you. For me, that turned out to be something I once thought I needed to escape from.
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