Catch-up | by Natalie-Amber

It’s that time for our catch up again!

Can you believe it is nearly time for Mariah Carey season? It’s so crazy how fast this year has gone. It has been a crazy year to say the least.

I recently had my official diagnosis for ADHD, afterwards I went cold turkey on my anti-depressants which, by the way, is NOT advised and you must ALWAYS check with a doctor on how to wean off them if that’s what you want to do. In my head, I thought that maybe the anti-depressants played a huge part in helping mellow and mask the ADHD which isn’t always great. However, being impulsive (typical ADHD trait) I just stopped the anti-depressants and have now ended up in a lower place mentally. 

Medical PTSD is rubbish, I know many of you can relate. Add ADHD on top where everything is heightened when it comes to emotions and it’s a lot. There are some sides of ADHD people don’t speak about, which I think they should. We see a lot of posts on social media where people make funny reels of life with ADHD, or they make jokes and say, “Oh, I probably have ADHD” even if they don’t. I think unless you are somebody who has got it, you won’t see how frustrating that is as ADHD is a daily battle with your brain. I wanted to share more of this with you.

ADHD is often linked to things like inattention, organisation and being messy and hyperactivity. However, many with ADHD also experience these intense emotions and the way I would describe this is like a witch trying to control her magic for the first time, it’s very hard to control and get to grips with. Emotions like being frustrated, sad, happy or angry are felt so much more strongly than others – this is a huge hurdle for me who has already been through a lot in life. Now, I’m trying to control these emotions and it’s much more challenging. I am also dealing with the trauma that comes with PTSD. I will say since being diagnosed, it has been a huge relief to me understanding why I can be the way I am at times and learning who I am as a person.

Rejection sensitivity and emotional pain with ADHD

This is a big thing for me, I take everything personally. I am easily offended and then think I am the problem. Criticism or rejection is such a confidence knocker, and I have to keep repeating to myself: ‘it is nothing personal’. I wish I could take rejection and move on the way others do. Instead, I will replay the scenario over and over in my head and try to figure out what I could have done better or differently. This causes intense emotional pain and hits me hard. It then leads to me avoiding situations altogether, e.g., something as simple reaching out to a friend I haven’t spoken to in a while just because I am worried of what they may say. It then manifests into a huge round of anxiety and it’s a constant circle and battle. I am now becoming more aware of these symptoms, and I am learning how to deal with them and to not then mentally be so hard on myself. It is not an issue and it never needed to be.

Managing emotional reactions with ADHD

This is the top of my list now as I embark on this new journey of mine. Working out the best way I can manage my emotions. It feels a lot, and it feels at times I may never be able to manage it, but I know I have been through so much and this is just one more hurdle I can overcome in time. People have often recommended to me mindfulness which can help me remain present and still – instead of reacting straight away and breathing techniques especially in times of anxiety.  

Learning how to stop myself from being impulsive in situations, I have been recommended is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), also recommended to me by therapists. It is a strong tool to help manage emotions, in addition it can help me identify each trigger and learn techniques to challenge or help change those thoughts. I feel I need to investigate this more because self-criticism is my hardest battle. I have, on impulse, bought a CBT book, have I ever read it? No – maybe this is a sign to start. 

I am currently awaiting medication for ADHD, I do hope it can help me navigate my emotions a little more easier, help me improve my focus and impulsive control. I know this is not a magic fix and I will still have to also put the work in.

I felt I wanted to be vulnerable and share this with you this month in case some of you are have had an ADHD diagnosis or are awaiting it. Combine that with the struggles we already face (medical trauma and chronic conditions etc.), it really is a lot. But, with the right resources and support we can learn to take back our power and be in control. Also there is nothing wrong with asking for help or admitting you feel this way.  

I would also like to stress the importance of having a supportive system around you whether it be family, friends, or a therapist, you do not have to go through any of this alone. I would advise you send your family (if newly diagnosed or in the process of being so), information on ADHD so they can understand it. This will help them understand you more, which would help so much in your relationships. 

You can follow my socials where I do speak more about this topic and share my journey as I navigate it all.

Finishing on a lighter note – I am pleased to announce, ‘How to be my Ally’ a Channel 4 (short documentary on IBD that I was in), recently won a Lovie Award Gold Award for the ‘people’s choice’ and a Bronze Award for ‘inclusion and diversity’ category. This means a lot to me, and I am grateful and touched that sharing my story has reached and help educate others. 

Anyway, I can’t believe I am saying this, but we shall speak again in February 2026! Wow. So, on that note, have an amazing Christmas and I wish you a happy new year full of health, peace, and happiness.

Talk soon!
Love,
Natalie-Amber
@natalie_amber1