How I built confidence leaving the house after stoma surgery | by Rachel
We all have different lives and responsibilities so recovery won’t look the same for everyone. Despite this, I hope these little tips will help you along the way. Taking the rough with the smooth, and accessing real-life experiences like you’ll find in blogs such as this, should reassure you that you are not alone.
The early days of having a stoma
Going out into the world with your stoma for the first few times is a huge milestone. You are learning to accept the new body you have been given, your body is tired and adjusting, and mentally you have to get a hold of all that – and you’re expected to just carry on. It is not easy. This is where counselling is a real gap in treatment; I feel that if it were part of post-surgery care, we would recover much more quickly.
Top tips for building confidence after stoma surgery
- Make sure you have a stoma care kit on you at all times. Have a baseplate with the hole pre-cut, plenty of wipes, and keep everything easily accessible. If you can, use a bag with a hook so you can hang it up in a toilet cubicle and grab what you need more easily.
- Go somewhere close to home to begin with, and build up the distance gradually if you are nervous about being out of the house. Stick to places you know have good, accessible toilets in case you need to change your stoma bag.
- Keep hydrated. You will be more vulnerable to dehydration with a stoma. Whether or not you incorporate electrolytes into your daily routine, carry a drink with you and sip little and often to feel your best while recovering.
- Have people with you who you don’t mind being vulnerable around. The first few times leaving home may present some obstacles. You may need to empty your bag for the first time, or you may have a leak that means changing it if you haven’t yet found the perfect bag for your stoma. You may also experience a wave of emotions and need support. Lean on people, and accept help when offered.
- If you don’t want to empty your bag a lot during your first trip out, avoid eating a big meal beforehand. During recovery, you’ll begin to notice patterns in how long after eating and drinking your stoma bag fills up. Stomas can be unpredictable, of course, and you’ll learn to adapt, but if you aren’t going far, this will make things more manageable.
- Wear clothing that isn’t too tight or fitted while your body is healing. Your stoma will reduce in size after surgery as it settles, and you may be swollen and sore. Make sure you are comfortable, and think carefully about the waistlines of your clothing and underwear.
My experience of building confidence after stoma surgery
Having had stoma surgery as an adult nearly seven years ago, and parenting a now ten year old who has always had one, I know it will not always be plain-sailing. I had started following ostomates on social media to see real-life shared experiences before my surgery, and reached out to some of them; people I can now call friends. This certainly helped me to mentally prepare for surgery. My stoma didn’t take initially, and I had to have refashioning surgery five weeks after the first. I had a lot of leaks in the early days and it was debilitating.
You have to accept that leaks may happen. Remember that, without a stoma bag, people can have accidents which a lot of us can relate to that from pre-stoma life. I know I can! It is very rare for someone to go years without a leak. Having a bag-change routine sorted, along with extra emergency kits at work, in the car, and on you, will keep you prepared. A nappy is also a great item to wedge between your underwear if you’re out and about and can’t change your bag straight away.
Conclusion
Recovery isn’t linear, remember that. You may have days when you feel great and positive, and you may have setbacks and wish you could take it all away. Ultimately, you needed this surgery and with the support of your loved ones, your medical team, and with technology developing all the time, there is a lot to be hopeful about. Try to focus on things to look forward to, and on how your life has changed for the better.
My most important piece of advice is to be your own advocate. You will be given certain branded products to manage your stoma at home by your stoma nurse. Give them time to work, but if the choice of bag and accessory products isn’t working for you, make sure to reach out to your stoma nurse to explore new options. Stoma care is ever-evolving and you deserve to live in comfort and with confidence in your products.
-
-
-
-
-
-
