Motherhood with a stoma | by Angelina
I gave birth and became a mother, and did it all with a stoma. If you’re reading this, maybe you’re facing that path too. I want you to know, it’s possible, it’s hard, it’s beautiful, and yes, it’s okay to be scared (I definitely was).
Pregnancy recovery
I gave birth and became a mother, and did it all with a stoma. If you’re reading this, maybe you’re facing that path too. I want you to know, it’s possible, it’s hard, it’s beautiful, and yes, it’s okay to be scared (I definitely was).
My pregnancy ended in a planned c-section due to prior abdominal surgeries, and I remember lying in that hospital bed, my body aching not just from birth, but from the weight of everything I’d already endured. Chronic illness, stoma surgery, and now motherhood.
The physical recovery felt different than what I’d imagined or had been through before . My body had been through so much already, and now I was asking it to heal while also caring for a newborn. My abdominal muscles were weak, and changing my pouch was a challenge (especially the day after my c-section). But over time, my body began to find its rhythm again, and I began to find my own routine.
Daily life with a baby and a stoma
No one really prepares you for the chaos of newborn life. Add a stoma, and it’s another layer of planning, adapting, and learning. There were some hard moments, like trying to change a poo-nami while my pouch decided to leak. Or feeding my baby while silently panicking about the fact that I had to go empty my pouch before it leaked. But there were moments of triumph, too. Like holding my baby close and realising I could do this. I was doing this. Not despite my stoma – but with it, alongside it. My body was still mine. Still capable of care, nurture, and love.
What helped me cope
- Support system: I had a great support system and I learned to say ‘yes’ when someone offered to hold my baby or get me something.
- Self-compassion: I had to learn to speak kindly to myself. Some days I just managed to feed my baby, drink water, and change my pouch, and that was enough.
- Routines and prep: having a good stoma routine gave me confidence. I prepped changes during nap time, kept supplies in easy reach, and always had spares in the pram.
Advice for other mums with a stoma
- Your experience is valid: don’t compare your journey to others. Recovery, motherhood, and managing a stoma look different for everyone. Your strength isn’t less because it feels hard.
- Speak up: whether it’s with doctors, your partner, or your friends, be honest about what you need. You don’t have to do it all alone.
- Hydration is key: postpartum dehydration is real, and with a stoma, it can spiral fast. Keep a big bottle nearby and sip all day.
- Your baby doesn’t care about your pouch: they care about your arms, your warmth, your voice. That’s what they see. That’s what matters.
Looking back, looking forward
One year in, I’m still learning. I still have days when I feel exhausted and overwhelmed, when my body surprises me in ways I didn’t plan for. But I also have a happy, thriving baby and a deeper love for this strange, resilient body of mine. To the expectant or new mum with a stoma reading this: you’ve got this. It won’t be perfect but it will be yours. And that’s more than enough.
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