I never thought I would have to have a stoma bag. I really never pictured myself as a bride with a stoma. But, unfortunately, those were the cards I was dealt. So when I got engaged there were so many things running through my brain…how on earth was I going to cope with constantly wearing white?

Preparation

I seriously struggled to find white outfits that were able to cover my bag and make me feel comfortable. I’m not one to normally feel self conscious about my bag – but I like to have control. I want to chose if you see my bag. Eg – if I’m wearing a bikini it means I’ve chosen to have my bag out. But what I don’t want is to wear a white dress that can appear see-through in specific lights and show my bag.

I was looking everywhere, constantly scrolling ang moaning to my sister (Maid of Honour). Very quickly she realised it was getting me down – and she reminded me this was MY hen. Yes, its traditional to wear white on your hen, but equally I can wear whatever I want. So, that’s what I did! And I bought a full body gold sequin dress.

In the end, I wore whatever I wanted to; not what I felt I had to because of my stoma bag.

My hen do

My hen do was one of the best couple of days of my life. And my stoma? It was the LEAST of my worries. My lovely bride squad carried my stoma supplies, ensured I was hydrated and always made me feel a million dollars. Stoma, what stoma? There was only 1 time when I even noticed my bag.

We were out on a boat trip and I looked down to see my bikini bottoms with a stain on – my bag had leaked. There was so panic, or embarrassment – I’m surrounded by my family and bestest friends. I quickly popped to the loo and changed my bag. The most annoying part was that I missed out on 3 minutes of fun. I can officially add a bag change on a moving boat to my skill set.

Managing my stoma

It can come very overwhelming when it feels like your stoma rules your life. It has taken me a long time to learn to relax and allow myself to be in control. My stoma now fits into my normal routine. Just like brushing your teeth. I don’t find it challenging to manage my stoma anymore, it’s just there – part of me.

On holiday, I am more aware of the fact I have a stoma. Two main reasons. One – the fact that it is visible in a bikini. Two – the stronger importance of keeping hydrated in the heat. If I feel uncomfortable about having my stoma bag on display, I simply wear an all in one. To stay hydrated I make sure I drink lots of water and occasionally take an electrolyte.

Tips and advice

It would be so easy to allow your stoma to rule your hen do. From outfits, to food and drink. You have to remember a hen do is to celebrate you!!! Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable, relax and have the best time. Remember you are surrounded by your best friends – let your hair down and enjoy yourself.

My stoma is the reason I am still alive and able to enjoy my hen do.

So, enjoy it! You deserve it!

Poppy
@stoma_scene