I have learnt to adapt and be well prepared for my stoma, and this has helped to ease any worries I may have had.
Finding a new job after chemo
One of the first things I did while undergoing my first round of chemotherapy was look for a new job. I had just left teaching but wanted the financial security of being employed again.
I don’t know how I managed it, but during the short period I was at home between my hospital stay with chemotherapy-induced colitis and the surgery to remove the tumour, I managed to find a brilliant job. It was, and still is, incredibly understanding of what was happening and happy to be flexible for me.
Only three weeks after surgery, there was an opportunity to attend a training course for this new job. There was no pressure for me to go. It definitely wasn’t mandatory, and I think my boss thought I was daft, but I was craving that sense of normality. I didn’t want to feel like a victim of the cancer or the stoma operation. Although I worried it might be too soon, I really wanted to do it. My family encouraged me, and I decided to go for it.
It involved a car journey, followed by public transport with three new colleagues, plus a small amount of walking just to get to the venue. When you’re going through chemotherapy and recovering from surgery, the exhaustion can be overwhelming. I always made sure to rest whenever possible, so this was a lot for me. I was even missing out on my naps!
But I was so proud that I did it.
Overcoming the fear
I even managed to change my bag successfully in a public toilet, not a disabled facility either. Looking back, I could have said no, but for me personally, overcoming that fear early on really helped me realise that I could do it. I didn’t have to be held back.
For this trip, and throughout those first few months, I definitely carried lots of extra bags and spare clothes with me, just in case.
It’s a bit like having a baby. For the first six months or so, you carry a huge bag to cover every eventuality. Then, as your confidence grows, you realise that things can happen, but you can cope with them. Gradually, you reduce what you need to take with you.
I still carry an extra pair of leggings in my bag, though. I’ve never needed them, but it’s comforting to know they’re there. I am also really open about my stoma and love meeting people who have been through similar experiences.
At a recent event, I got chatting to a stranger who explained that it was his first time out in a year following bowel cancer and stoma surgery. I was delighted to talk with him and share our experiences.
Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s important to do things in your own time. But I find that sharing stories can be incredibly encouraging, and there’s often an instant connection when you meet someone who truly understands.
Being brave is really important throughout the whole journey.
