A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed what was in store for me. I have been a vegetarian since I was 11, I’m only in my forties, fit and active, and I don’t drink or smoke. I never thought bowel cancer was coming my way, but it did. Thankfully, it was found in time, and I’m now a year down the line.
Accepting my stoma
I have a love-hate relationship with my stoma, and that’s OK. It’s there. It saved my life. I don’t fully hate it, but I sometimes struggle to feel grateful for it too.
I haven’t named my stoma either, although I know many people do. It just doesn’t feel right for me, and that’s the important thing: being true to yourself and your feelings, rather than feeling pressured to behave or act a certain way.
If you don’t want to name it, you don’t have to. It’s also important to embrace the little wins. I love being able to use my RADAR key and the accessible shower at my local gym. They’re so much better. The shower even has an on/off tap instead of a timed push button 😊.
I’m currently having a series of colonoscopies to remove polyps from the section of bowel above where the tumour was. The doctor hadn’t been able to reach this area previously.
The procedure is carried out through my stoma, and honestly, the hardest part is managing the bowel prep solution. The camera through the stoma is far easier than the “other entrance”!
Stoma reversal
Right now, I’ve been given a date for a stoma reversal, but I’m actually really nervous about it.
Will it go well?
How will my bowel behave afterwards?
It feels like it’s taken a long time to regain a sense of normality and rebuild my fitness after chemotherapy and surgery. I don’t want to lose that progress. I’ve become confident managing my stoma. I know what to expect, and I know how to handle the little challenges that come with it.
The unknowns of a reversal, adapting to something new and the possibility of complications are things I need to carefully weigh up.
Plus, am I really ready to give up those better showers at the gym?
Regardless of when my reversal happens, one thing I do want to continue doing is connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences and encouraging people to speak up and normalise these conversations. Bowel cancer happens. Life happens. Challenges happen.
And I want anyone going through bowel cancer, stoma surgery or recovery to know one thing:
You are not alone.
