Living with a stoma can be a big adjustment, not just for the person who has had surgery, but for the people around them too. Family members, partners and carers may all need time to understand what has changed and how best to offer support.
The most helpful thing you can do is listen. Everyone adjusts differently, so try not to make assumptions about how someone is feeling or what they need. Some days they may want practical help, while on others they may simply want to get on with things as normal.
If they’re comfortable with it, you can help with everyday tasks such as shopping, cooking, appointments or collecting prescriptions. However, it’s important to support their independence too. Ask before stepping in and let them decide how much help they would like.
Learning a little about stoma care can also make things feel less unfamiliar. With their permission, you could attend appointments, learn how their products work or help them find reliable information. Their stoma care nurse can offer advice and answer questions for both the person with a stoma and their carer.
Emotional support is just as important as practical help. Changes to body image, confidence and daily routines can take time to adjust to. Give them space to talk, but don’t feel that you always need to have the right answer. Sometimes being there and listening is enough.
Remember to look after yourself too. Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it can also be tiring. Make time for your own needs, accept help from others and speak to a healthcare professional if you’re finding things difficult.
Most importantly, a stoma doesn’t have to define family life. With patience, understanding and the right support, you can continue to share everyday moments, make plans and enjoy life together.
