Rebuilding confidence after stoma surgery | by Angelina

When I first had my stoma surgery, I’ll be honest, I felt like my confidence had completely gone. I worried about how I looked, what people might think, and whether I’d ever feel “normal” again. Those early months were tough, but over time my confidence started to come back. 

If you’re going through this now, I want to share some of the things that helped me rebuild my self-confidence and start feeling more in control of my life again.

At the start, I expected myself to bounce back quickly, I was 13, so it should have been easy for me, but that wasn’t realistic. My body needed time to heal, and so did my self confidence. I started celebrating little victories, like the first time I changed my bag by myself, which may seem easy but was actually so hard mentally. Each small step forward gave me a boost.

One of my biggest concerns was whether my stoma bag would show under clothes or if people would be able to notice it. I tried a lot of outfits in front of the mirror before I found what made me feel secure. For me, high waisted trousers and good support underwear were a game changer. It took a lot of trial and error to find my style again, and of course it changes with the seasons, but over time I’ve found what works for my body.

The anxiety about leaks or accidents was real for me. What helped was creating a routine that gave me a sense of control. I always carry a small bag of supplies with me with me with spare bags, wipes, and sometimes even spare clothes if I have space. Just knowing I was prepared took away a lot of the fear.

I’ll admit, I tried to handle everything on my own at first. But talking to others who had been through stoma surgery made a huge difference. Meeting people through social media and in person reassured me that what I was feeling was normal. Even opening up to a close friend or family helped lighten the emotional weight.

In the beginning, I held myself back. I said no to invites and avoided things I loved. Over time, I realised that my stoma didn’t have to stop me. Every time I pushed myself a little, I proved to myself that I was still capable of living fully.

My inner voice was loud at first. “People will notice,” “You can’t do this.” But I started challenging those thoughts. I reminded myself of what I had survived, the strength it took to get through surgery, and how much I was still able to do. That shift in self-talk didn’t happen overnight, but practicing self-kindness made me feel stronger and more empowered.

If you’re struggling with confidence after stoma surgery, please know you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and while it takes time, you will find your rhythm again. For me, it wasn’t about pretending my stoma didn’t exist, it was about learning to live with it in a way that didn’t hold me back.

You are more than your stoma. You’re strong, capable, and beautiful.

Thanks for reading,

Ange
@thebaglife_