Men’s health awareness month: why talking matters | by Kevin

Men’s health awareness month is more than a date that comes around each year, it’s a reminder that we as men need to start having honest conversations about what we are either going through or have been through.

That’s why in this blog I wanted to explore why so many of us men including myself at one point, struggle to open up, what happens when we bottle things up and the powerful shift that happens when we finally speak out.

Why men find it hard to talk

For many of us, opening up doesn’t come naturally; we have been raised to hold it together or ‘man up’ and that showing emotion or admitting that I’m struggling somehow makes me weak or less capable. I’ve been guilty of it myself, masking what I’ve been going through either to family or friends and even work colleagues.

The issue with this is that being silent comes at a cost. When I kept pushing things down, I created a distance between myself and the people that care about us. There are lots of reasons I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone; there is the pressure of being the strong one and at work I was worried I’d be seen weak or differently to others, impacting my career. One that I’ve spoken about before was being the burden on those around me. Opening up doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human, and the moment you speak out things will start to change in ways that you never expected them to.

Talking is one of the simplest tools we have as men but one of the most powerful. No matter what is going on whether it’s stress, anxiety or something else, we’re afraid to acknowledge speaking about it aloud releases pressure and the stress of trying to hold it in and together.

When I first had my stoma, I didn’t even know how to talk about it. I felt very vulnerable and different and unsure of how anyone would react. I remember just telling myself you just get on with it. I never wanted to say to family or friends how tough it was. Looking back, I realise how heavy that silence was and carrying it alone made it so much harder than it needed to be.

Over time though something shifted and I reached a point were staying quiet was holding me back more than speaking up. I started to open up more to family friends and even colleagues. Today I feel more confident sharing my story, even though my journey has been far from perfect, it made me learn to be stronger. I still have those tough days, we all do in some way or another but I’m really proud of the journey I have been on and where I am today.

Men’s health awareness month is a huge reminder, but these conversations shouldn’t be about one day or one month – we as men need to be strong enough to take that step and reach out if you are struggling. Opening up is not going to fix everything today but it shows the commitment to yourself that you are making the first steps. This may be you now, holding something back – start the conversation reach out and speak up, you can do this.

Kevin
@thestomaguy